There's...There's the window.  

[Three hours pass.]

You know when I said there's the window I was going to say there's the moon,
but then I thought, maybe it's just a street light, and I didn't want to
sound stupid.
                   -- Alison



"No we're not!  We're deaf!"  
   --In response to somebody's comment, "Look, they're blind," 
     while walking past a sign language class



"Shuck!"  -Paul B.

"Just one?"  -Me



Ever seen two people talking to each other in their sleep?

J: "What time is it?"
P: "What?"
J: "What time is it?"
P: "What?"
J: "Around second base."



(This happened in a crowded shopping mall outside a piano and keyboard shop.)
Chris:"'Intelligent Keyboard' eh?  We'll see how intelligent you 
       are. What's my name?"
"Uncle" Ben: (In the goofiest voice I've ever heard):  "Billy!"
Chris: WRONG!"  *Whack!* (whacks the keyboard)



Jen: "I smell like garlic."
Bri: "Maybe you're possessed by an evil spirit."
Jen: "If all it does is smell like garlic, that's fine by me."



Kate:   "If moths fly toward light, why don't they fly to the sun?"
Robert: "They're nocturnal."
Kate:   "Why don't they fly to the moon, then?"
Robert: "Go to sleep, Kate."



"We routinely catch people."
                   -- Larry McCann, police officer, commenting
                      on the effectiveness of the VA police force.



"Magic hat!  All fall down!"  
                   -- Paul B., after dropping his hat



Nich: You know, every time you supress a sneeze, it kills 200,000 brain cells.
Matt: Hey. You just made that up, just now.
Nich: Yeah you're right.